Automotive

At $13,500, Is This 2000 BMW M5 A Can Of Whoop-Ass Or A Can Of Worms?

The current owner of today’s Nice Price or No Dice E39 M5 claims to be in possession of two of them and is selling this one because it just mostly sits. Well boo-freaking-hoo. Let’s see if it’s been priced to finally move.

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There’s a country song by Tony Stampley titled “I Hate to See You Go (But I Love to Watch You Walk Away)” This is how I feel about yesterday’s 1985 Porsche 928 since I’m in lust with that model’s curvy rear countenance. Not all of you felt the same way. A whole bunch of you also took issue with the car’s SBC implant as well as some unfinished business the seller noted in the ad. That’s all took a toll on the Porsche’s $12,950 asking, with the result being a massive 94 percent No Dice loss.

Today we’re going to look at something a little less crazy, but still pretty anomalous — a high-mileage performance BMW. This 2000 BMW M5 may only be of an age that, were it a person it wouldn’t even be able to rent itself, but in that short amount of time it has amassed an amazing 235,000 miles. Amazingly, it seems to have done so with most of the same major parts it had at the start. Most BMWs, if they manage to make it that far, would be expected to have gone through two engines and at least three marriages by the time they reach so lofty a number.

According to the seller, this isn’t some museum piece, though. It’s had its share of work done, including a slew of recent maintenance work to address some of the S52 V8’s most often noted wear items. Those include the cam cover gaskets, all the coil packs, the crank and cam position sensors, and a remapped DME with the security system disabled. From the sound of the work undertaken, it does seem like someone was trying to track down an engine-related issue. Sure enough, the ad reveals that the 400 horsepower the S52 produces comes at the cost of a misfire and inconsistent fuel/air readings between the banks. That’s a bit of a red flag, and while the ad notes the removal of the secondary cats and the rest of the sound-reducing parts of the exhaust, it does make you wonder if the O2 sensors are doing their thing.

The rest of the car looks to be in decent shape, the Titanium Silver paint seemingly holding its own and the aftermarket wheels not appearing to suffer from curb rash. We don’t get any information on the tires at all so interested parties should be reminded to take a penny with them when inspecting the car to check the tread depth.

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That pre-purchase inspection would reveal some aftermarket bits on the Bimmer. The ad notes the addition of a short shifter from the E60 line, Euro headlamp units, and a Dinan cross brace under the hood. There are also extensions for the front lip and rear defuser and coil-overs all around. Those coil-overs do seem to give the rear wheels an odd bit of over-camber.

Looking over the car thoroughly, one might also notice that neither of the front windows does anything since, according to the seller, their regulators have given up the ghost.

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Inside, things look to be in nice shape, although the seller judiciously only shows us the back seat in all its glory. One might expect the driver’s throne to show some wear and tear after so many miles, but that will also have to be revealed in the in-person inspection.

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The title is clean and the seller says the reason the car is being offered is that they have one too many E39 M5s and this is obviously the less desirable of the pair. That being said, the seller is open to trading it for some other M-badged Bimmer.

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Since we don’t have any Ms lying around for such a trade (you don’t, do you? I know I don’t) we’ll just have to deal with the seller’s $13,500 asking price. That, it is claimed in the ad, makes this one of the cheapest on the market at present. With that declaration and the obvious issues manifested here, this seems like a perfect candidate for Tyler Hoover to buy and then have the Car Ninja swoop in and do all his car-ninja-ing on, all for a fun YouTube video. Sadly for this car’s seller, Hoovie has already been there and done that with E39 M5s.

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In that case, it’s going to be up to us. What’s your take on this mileage-heavy M5 and that $13,500 asking? Does that seem like a fair deal for the car as it’s described in its ad? Or, does that price make you want to put some miles between you and this car?

You decide!

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Facebook Marketplace out of Las Vegas, Nevada, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to asdigital13 for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOND. Hit me up at rob@jalopnik.com and send me a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your Kinja handle.

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