Here’s 11 Stupid Ways to Describe What a Car Is

It’s the end of the week, which likely means that you’ve used up all your brain-juices, and you’re running on fumes now. That’s good, because what I’ve come up with here is deeply, richly stupid: ten genuinely idiotic ways to describe a car.

You’re welcome.

1. A captured volume of space inside a metal or composite skin that can be moved to other locations

2. A machine that can transform liquid petroleum into a gaseous mixture of nitrogen, water vapor, carbon dioxide, and carbon monoxide, with a side effect of motion.

3. A mobile 12V generator with an integrated enclosure and seating

4. A storage locker with an integrated system to self-relocate based on guidance from an operator

5. Two rows of seating on a wheeled platform

6. A dry-land all-weather motor-toboggan with four end-to-end joined runners on spindles to allow for rotation

7. A wingless taxi-only-capable aircraft

8. A location-independent climate-controlled seating enclosure

9. A mobile, multiple beverage holder with capacity to house human beverage attendants

10. A surface-only land submarine

11. A normally snakeless snake terrarium with interior fittings ill-designed for snakes but fully mobile to gain better access to snakes that should not be placed inside this ideally snake-free mobile snake terrarium