Automotive

Hey Rich People, I’m Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis


Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

Sure, there’s lots of notable exceptions, but overall, rich people tend to be really stupid with how they spend their money on cars. Far too often they dump loads of cash into one of the same few super- or hypercars that every other unimaginative rich dipshit is buying, and then they putter around in them, never even touching what the car can actually do. Luckily, there’s a much better option now for exchanging a shitload of money for a car: one of these Alvis Continuation Series cars.


Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

Alvis was a British carmaker from 1919 to 1967, and during that time they made beautiful luxury cars, racing cars, elegant touring cars, and handsome GT cars. Later they went into armored cars and military vehicles, but during their passenger car heyday, they produced some really lovely machines.

Alvis was sort of reborn in 2012, when they began making a limited number of “continuation cars,” which are, essentially, their old car designs built new, with a few key modernizations to make them completely road-legal today—well, at least in the UK and maybe other parts of the EU.

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Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

Now, Alvis has announced new continuation models, bringing the total up to five, and some will even be built on new-old-stock chassis.

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Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

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Most of these continuation cars use Alvis’ 1936-designed 4.3-liter inline-six engine (some use a 3-liter straight-six), though modernized with fuel injection and up-to-date materials, which helps the engine make 170 horsepower and be emissions compliant. Plus, these engines are now mated to a six-speed transmission, though some can be had with automatics, and even air-conditioning, because, remember, you’re rich, and that’s what you deserve.

The cars are genuinely lovely, not just some retro-styled homages to certain cars, but actual, genuine newly built examples of these old designs.

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The designs range from the ‘30s to the ‘60s, and they’re all striking and elegant as hell and will absolutely stand hood and fenders over anyone who rolls into the endangered animal cookout in some played-out old Lamborghini or Ferrari or whatever.

I mean, come on—look at this Alvis Bertelli Sports Coupé:


Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

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Go on, tell me how your AMG whatever is better than that. I mean, okay, it’s probably technically better, but when it comes to presence and style and just that special quality that makes you do a double-take, this thing whips the crap out of anything you can drop six figures on from Mercedes or BMW or even Bentley or Rolls.


Illustration for article titled Hey Rich People, I'm Going to Tell You How to Spend Your Money: Buy a New/Old Alvis

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These are all limited run cars, some as limited as 25 cars to be built, and while the prices have yet to be announced, you can be sure the numbers would feel cramped on a license plate.

Here, rich people, watch a fancy video to get you ready:

So, to recap: if you’re crammed full of money and need a car, I say take a look at these Alvis continuation cars before just jamming over to the Bugatti dealership. I think you’ll be much happier with your purchase.

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