It’s hard to rank all the dumb things Urban Meyer has done at Jacksonville — but we’re gonna try

Urban Meyer has done so many dumb things this year it’s easy to lose track.

Urban Meyer has done so many dumb things this year it’s easy to lose track.
Image: Getty Images

I’m not sure who ordered the hit on Urban Meyer, but the NFL Network’s Tom Pelissero went No Country for Old Coaches on the Jacksonville Jaguars head man Saturday morning delivering a devastating indictment of his first and maybe last year (mis)leading the team. The piece reads more like a prosecution, using bullet points to list off Meyer’s transgressions over the past two weeks alone, on top of the usual “He’s 2-10 and lost his locker room” stuff you find in a story about a struggling coach.


Instead of me doing the same thing Pelissero did and bullet pointing all of Meyer’s “asshole idiot” (his words, not mine) behavior — a convenient format to be sure — I’ll take it a step further and rank them from most “asshole idiotic” to least “asshole idiotic.” Think Idiot of the Month, but with one idiot’s specific idiocy.

They were going to be called fireable offenses, however, Jags owner Shad Khan’s loyalty appears to be a more fatal flaw than his way too prominent mustache as he’s given long leashes to bad coaches such as Gus Bradley and Doug Marrone before, and it appears he wants to give another bad coach more time, as well.

As you’ll soon read, there are a number of things Meyer has done that the Jags could use to dismiss him with cause/without pay, but apparently Khan is convinced it takes time to build culture because that’s what worked for him in the car bumper industry. I’m on the side of patience, too, however there’s a limit, my guy, and testing those limits with a talent like Trevor Lawrence is incredibly irresponsible.

Alright, on to Cleveland.

6. Acknowledging the team favored vaccinated players in cut downs — A lot of coaches probably did this because being vaccinated is cool, but Urban is the only one who snitched on himself. You can’t actively admit your bias toward certain personnel. Come on, this is NFL 101. All prejudice must be stated in emails prior to employment so it can be used to terminate you at a later date.

5. Violating organized team activity rules — The NFL fined Meyer $100,000 and the Jaguars $200,000 for not knowing the OTA rules. It seems pretty petty and could’ve been an honest mistake made by a guy switching from college to the NFL, but I’m supposed to be making jokes about Meyer, so we’ll call it intentional and nefarious over-lording by an egomaniac.

4. Alienating receiver group — There are more players upset with Meyer than just the receivers, so Marvin Jones leaving the facility because he was done with the coach’s private and public criticism of the receiving corps, team officials begging him to come back, him coming back and arguing with Meyer during practice isn’t the only example, it’s just more palatable than the next one.


3. Whatever is going on with James Robinson — The running back was benched after fumbling early in the loss to the Rams, which is normal until you find out Meyer had the running backs coach stop Robinson from re-entering the game and stuck with his former Buckeye Carlos Hyde until Lawrence confronted the head coach about it. The rookie quarterback has had enough problems on the field, so you’d think it’d be, I don’t know, beneficial that when he comes to the sidelines he could ask questions and receive coaching instead of mediating conflicts.

2. Mishandling/belittling coaching staff — During a staff meeting, Meyer allegedly said he’s a winner and his coaching staff were losers, challenging each to pull out their… resumes. In addition to that contest, he’s also lost a couple guys to outside jobs, one due to personal reasons, and another because he was the racist strength trainer from the Iowa football scandal and had to resign after the team got called out for his hiring.


1. Being an “asshole idiot” — We all knew what No. 1 was going to be. Going viral for feeling up a woman who’s not your wife at a steakhouse after your team flew ahead following a loss amid a losing streak is more than acting like an “asshole idiot,” which is what he referred to himself as during his mea culpa speech to his team. I’m not going to act like he’s the first coach to step out on his wife, but he’s the face of it. If this happened to another coach — would you be surprised if there was footage of Jon Gruden getting more than all he can eat at a Vegas buffet — people will call it pulling an “Urban.”

Best of luck playing the long con with this idiotic asshole, Mr. Khan.

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