It’s the end of Urban we’d all hoped for

Bye, Urban.

Bye, Urban.
Illustration: Getty Images

Most of the time, the things you think will go badly don’t go badly in the way you hope. We all have an urge to watch something burn, if only for a short time, but rarely do we get the flaming wreckage we seek. A lot of times we get the conclusion, but not the show in between.


So I guess we have to thank Urban Meyer, who has given us this fiery crash the likes we dared not dream of when it was announced he would become coach of the Jaguars. We all thought it could happen. After all, this was yet another college coach not only trying the pros but also doing it with the most bass-ackward franchise the NFL can offer. We all hoped this would fail badly because quite frankly we needed the entertainment, Meyer has needed a karmic ass kicking for a while, and do you honestly know any Jaguars fan? Exactly, so you wouldn’t have to feel sorry for anyone.

Meyers was fired of course, just days after a report that he’d kicked kicker Josh Lamboduring pregame stretches of a preseason game, according to Lambo. The chef’s kiss? Lambo saying Meyer declared, “I’m the head ball coach! I’ll kick you whenever the fuck I want!” I bet players really ramp up their respect when you declare yourself a “ball coach.” Sure makes them feel like you’re up on the modern game. Justifying kicking your players because of who you think you are…you can’t really script shit like this. According to Lambo, Meyer also called him a “dipshit.”

Meyers, of course, says Lambo has this all wrong.

“Josh’s characterization of me and this incident is completely inaccurate, and there are eyewitnesses to refute his account,” Meyer told the Tampa Bay Times. “(General manager) Trent (Baalke) and I met with him on multiple occasions to encourage his performance, and this was never brought up. I was fully supportive of Josh during his time with the team and wish him nothing but the best.”

The alleged kicking incident comes on the heels of Meyer trying to sell his coaches down the river, because nothing can possibly be his fault. And then there was the feeling up a woman at a bar that wasn’t his wife, to which he characterized himself as an “asshole idiot.”

There have been so many embarrassing moments.

It’s rare you get to witness someone who deserves their world to crash around them actually have their world crash around them as it did last night.


It’s funny how every week you’ll hear some analyst talk about how college and pro gameplans and schemes get closer and closer to each other, such as the RPOs we see with every team and the like. And yet so few coaches seem able to navigate both worlds. Given how the games have evolved toward each other, it can’t be the gameplanning that’s getting these guys.

So, it has to be something else. And clearly it’s how they handle their players. Guys like Meyer and Nick Saban, another pro washout, are used to opening the doors and just watching the talent roll in. And because of the stature of the programs that they’re riding, instead of creating, and the competition for each spot on the team, and the promise of getting to the pros for kids, they can behave however they want and the players are powerless. They need the scholarships and starting spots at those schools too badly. They call it coaching, but all it is is bullying. They get the best coordinators available because of the money the schools have. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a time that Meyer and Saban weren’t good coaches, because they rose to these spots. But now? They’re basically CEOs.


You can’t be that guy in the pros, because the coach is never the most powerful person around (except for maybe in New England). Trevor Lawrence could have had Meyer fired whenever he wanted, but that’s not necessary now after owner Shahid Khan did the deed.

“After deliberation over many weeks and a thorough analysis of the entirety of Urban’s tenure with our team, I am bitterly disappointed to arrive at the conclusion that an immediate change is imperative for everyone.” Khan said in statement last night. “I informed Urban of the change this evening. As I stated in October, regaining our trust and respect was essential. Regrettably, it did not happen.” Offensive coordinator Darrell Bevel will take over as interim head coach.


In the NFL, players can just go to the press that isn’t as subservient as the media in a collegetown would be. The media in Tuscaloosa or Columbus or Gainesville is happy to kneel at the feet of the coach.

From the moment he showed up in Jacksonville, Meyer acted like he’s some gift. He’s not. He hasn’t proven shit at this level, and his players knew it from Day 1. When you’re someone like Meyer, whose accomplishments all came at the college level, when you get to the pros, all those accomplishments, in the words of Agent K from MIB, “…as of right now, they mean precisely dick.”


And now it’s all over.

We know Meyer isn’t a good dude. Sometimes they get what’s coming to them. Let’s relish this.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Most Popular

To Top