Jeff Garcia keeps reminding us that he’s the old co-worker that nobody liked

A dick joke.

A dick joke.
Illustration: Getty Images

I don’t mean to be crass, but in pop culture, Jeff Garcia’s behavior is described as “little dick energy.”


If you need a better example, Garcia is that one kid that used to get teased by someone bigger, but instead of standing up for himself, he’d always take his anger out on the skinny kid in the corner who was laughing just as loud as everyone else. It’s a symptom of men that have low self-esteem who are usually too “manly” to get a therapist to discuss their “shortcomings.”

The former 49ers/Browns/Lions/Eagles/Bucs quarterback is back in the news, again, for saying something stupid. On Thursday, he went after ESPN’s Mina Kimes – one of the best football analysts in the game – because a double minority, an Asian woman, did what a ton of other people have been doing for a long time which is critiquing Jimmy Garoppolo’s head-scratching inconsistent play.

Here’s what he wrote on Instagram:

“Who the hell is Mina Kimes and when is the last time she threw a touchdown pass in a game? Never! Ever! has she taken a snap or can truly understand the ability, the mindset, the physical and mental toughness, that it takes to play the QB position or any position in the NFL. The fact that there are people out there given a platform to talk about something that they have never done is hilarious and that’s how you have to look at her, she’s a joke! So let’s just laugh at her and support Jimmy, root on our Niners to go out and beat the living f—k out of one more team. That’s what it takes. She will never know that feeling. Can I get an amen? Peace”

Do you know how weak of a man you have to be to go after a woman whose job it is to know football inside-and-out, while ignoring all of the men who know nothing about the game?


Really weak. But, that’s little dick energy for ya.

Trying to defend a fellow 49er quarterback from persecution isn’t the crime that Garcia committed. His issue is that he keeps finding ways to go after people of color. In case you forgot – because you probably did – in the fall of 2020 Garcia went after Cam Newton because of his… clothes.


“You go into this game with two touchdowns, four interceptions, you threw what, three more interceptions?” Garcia began on his rant about Newton. “You get yanked in the second half, there’s nothing good going your way. Why are you dressing like that to bring more attention to yourself? I’d be trying to ask the equipment managers, ‘Put me in your jock sock cart and sneak me in the back door, and I’ll show up on the field and do the best that I can.”


Yes, the guy who dresses as thought he believes Men’s Warehouse is the epitome of fashion went after one of the most fashionable athletes in the world, because to him, bespoke suits and haberdashery can affect your ability to read coverages. No wonder Terrell Owens once claimed Garcia’s “shortcomings” held him back.

“He threw the ball behind me, out of bounds. I left a lot of touchdowns on the field throughout the last two or three years,” Owens said of Garcia back in 2004 on HBO, claiming his numbers in San Francisco would have been better if he’d played with a “strong-armed quarterback.”


I’m not going to sit up here and break down the legitimacy of Owens’ claims, because I’ll leave that to the “people that played the game.” Unlike Garcia, I’m smart enough to realize that you can determine if a quarterback misses open receivers despite not working under the tutelage of Bill Belichick. Because if this was about merit and experience, then Garcia wouldn’t be qualified to get the opportunities he does to do TV and radio, given that he doesn’t possess the media resume that people like me, Kimes, and other sports journalists who have critiqued Jimmy Garoppolo’s decision-making skills in the pocket.

But, this isn’t about that. It’s about a man that’s desperately trying to remain relevant in a space that’s eclipsed him by being a misogynist and a bigot – kind of like the guy he probably voted for in the 2016 presidential election.

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