Sports

MLB rejects proposal it proposed


Booooooooooo!

Booooooooooo!
Image: AP

At this point, trying to parse out the details of the continued screaming-at-their-shoes negotiations between the MLB owners and players is akin to huffing the aura of those around you at the DMV at 4 p.m. You’re beyond caring what the minutiae is, you’re infuriated about what’s around you and whatever you’ve done or haven’t done that landed you there, the smell is becoming something more than you can ignore, and you don’t really care how it ends.

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But it’s important to remember who’s responsible for this, because this has been foisted upon us all. And it’s the owners, an obscenely rich cabal of societal pilot fish who will never be satisfied until the sport they elbowed their way into is nothing but a shriveled and deflated carcass drained of absolutely anything of worth.

And yesterday, they topped themselves, as through their representative troll of deceit, cluelessness, and arrogance, Rob Manfred, they rejected their own proposal. So now the earliest the season can start is Thursday, April 14, one day before Jackie Robinson Day.

That doesn’t sound right, you may be thinking. How can that be possible? Well, let’s let resident toad Jon Heyman, spine buckling underneath the weight of all the water he’s carrying for the owners, spell it out:

IT WAS ROB MANFRED’S IDEA

Heyman of course doesn’t offer any commentary, or point out just how stratospherically stupid it is, that the owners rejected an idea their leading stooge had presented simply because it came after a deadline that everyone made up and has basically no meaning. Again, the owners rejected their own fucking idea. Try and wrap your arms around that and as your synapses start to fry to a frightening degree go and get yourself a milkshake or iced coffee or whatever treat gets you back to as close to centered as you can manage.

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Here’s the thing, the international signing system right now is pretty fucked. It’s filled with corruption, and in the balance are the lives of mere kids who get lost in it. It probably needs fixing. But an international draft, at least the one owners want to install, has nothing to do with fixing that corruption or not leaving adolescent kids twisting in the wake. It’s merely about finding another group of would-be players you would not have to pay anything, which is what a draft would do. The owners wouldn’t have to outbid each other for talent, which is what this whole damn thing is about.

In addition, this was yet another wrench the owners chucked in at the last minute, after progress was made on major issues like the pool for first- and second-year players and the CBT, that the owners knew the players would reject, so they could once again try and pin this whole thing on the players. It is all asshole theater.

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Of course, Heyman wasn’t done pulling his “Hey, I’m just asking…” act that all clueless shitheads run to when important things are being discussed and they want to side with the billionaire that they’re somehow convinced they’re either part of or should be if they could just get one break:

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That’s what this is about, Jon. The players could have saved all of their service time by collapsing a month ago and giving in to owners and worsening a corrupt system, and all of it is corrupt, which Heyman would realize when he’s done huffing whatever owner’s limo’s muffler that he’s chosen that day. All of that is making the game of baseball utter trash. But the players don’t want to do that, so they think trading in some of their pay is worth the tradeoff for the long-term good of their futures and the game’s. I wouldn’t want to fizzle out the three neurons Heyman has left, though, so we’ll leave it.

Players have consistently shat on the idea of an international draft, and for good reason. It’s another avenue for owners to take advantage of prospective players who have little option, and players who might just be worse off economically than their American counterparts. Those signing bonuses and checks they get might be the only ones they ever see, and they make a hell of a difference for a lot of them.

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Again, this isn’t about owners fixing a broken system, which it is. It’s just about cutting less checks and for less money. The players literally offered them something they had suggested, and that got thrown back in their faces because… well, I honestly have no idea.

They owners are beyond any semblance of logic. My only hope now is that I live long enough to see these 30 fuckwits completely kill the sport and have to sell every team for $12. I doubt I’ll make it.

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