Rest Assured, These Guys Are Still Complete & Utter Jerks

Curt Schilling, Lou Holtz and Aubrey Huff are still assholes.

Curt Schilling, Lou Holtz and Aubrey Huff are still assholes.
Image: (Getty Images)

Oh, hey, just in case you were wondering…

Yes, Curt Schilling is still an asshole.

Yes, Aubrey Huff is still an asshole. A huge asshole. Such an enormous asshole. Just a galactic, pulsating, inflamed asshole.


Now you can go back to ignoring the fact that these has-beens exist.

Imani McGee-Stafford, who decided in March to step away from the WNBA for two years to pursue a law degree, summed up this moment perfectly:


“honestly, fuck sports,” she tweeted. “yall shouldn’t be able to enjoy our talent while ignoring our pain.”

And Washington Mystics guard Natasha Cloud, sitting out this season to “fight on the front lines for social reform,” chimed in: “I am proud of all the pro sports that sat out today! They don’t want us to unite…there’s so much power in our voices and platforms. Imagine them together as a united front for justice.”

Major League soccer put out a statement worded as if they were getting out in front of things by postponing games. LAFC midfielder Mark-Anthony Kaye was having none of that.


Lou Holtz, who led the New York Jets to a 3-10 record in 1976, his only season as an NFL head coach, also spent some time at Notre Dame, which apparently makes him some kind of expert on religion.


Speaking at the Republican National Convention, Holtz said Joe Biden is a “Catholic in name only,” while praising twice-divorced adulterer Donald Trump as “a consistent winner” and “an outstanding leader” who “genuinely cares about people.”

Okay, then. Also, just for kicks, a couple of months ago, Holtz went on a Fox Nation show called “Bible Study: Messages of Hope,” and said, “My wife and I have taken the opportunity to have a Bible study together every single day at 10 o’clock. As Mark Twain said, the two most important days of your life — one’s the day you’re born, the other is the day you discover why you’re born. We discovered we’re basically put on this earth to help other people and to praise our Lord.”


According to the Center for Mark Twain Studies, this is “something [Twain] most certainly never said,” although the quote has spread online from Steve Harvey to The Rock online.

As Matt Seybold wrote in analyzing the spread of the apocryphal quote, “The Occam’s Razor of Twain attribution is, as follows: If the aphorism in question indicates a sentimental, nostalgic, or otherwise optimistic attitude towards humanity, it probably didn’t come from Twain. As Louis Budd put it, Twain indulged a ‘lifelong suspicion that the mass of mankind is venal, doltish, feckless, and tyrannical, that the damn fools make up a majority anywhere.’”


Certainly at the Republican convention, they do, but there is a possibility that Twain could have said those words, if there’s a little more thought given to the concept of “the day you discover why you’re born.” So, Lou Holtz, if you come across this, please spend some time today thinking about your parents having sex.

The Mets tweeted, “We are united for change” with a picture of Dom Smith kneeling… alone.


Smith was incredible after the Mets’ win, in a tearful press conference where he said, “I think the most difficult part is to see, like, people still don’t care, and for these things to continuously happen, I mean, it just shows, just, the hate in people’s heart, and, I mean, that just sucks. Being a Black man in America is not easy.”

Former major league outfielder Chris Dickerson wins the award for best use of a Jurassic Park meme to dunk on an idiot complaining about athletes talking about social issues.


-Once again showing that Black women are in the lead… hockey. Sarah Nurse, an Olympic silver medalist for Canada (and cousin of Edmonton Oilers defenseman Darnell Nurse and New York Liberty guard Kia Nurse), wrote, “Black Lives are more important than sports. PERIOD. I’m going to need hockey, especially, to understand that. Where has the anti-racism “listening & learning” over the last months gotten the hockey community??”


It got hockey to have a “moment of reflection” before playing Tuesday’s games as scheduled.

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