Tell Me Your Best Car Roasts

Back in High School some of my friends and I used to play a game called PT Loser, which involved us taking pictures of the most hideously modified PT Cruisers we could find and then roast the shit out of them in a group text. It all went well until that fateful day where I ended the game in glorious fashion with this picture. I am convinced God themself put this car in the parking lot of the grocery store I was working at during that time to help me finish and win the game. The roasts were epic and the longer you look at this picture the worse it gets.

Looking back I kind of feel like a dick for shitting all over it because it was probably owned by someone who wanted to own a classic hot rod/Mercury low rider type car but couldn’t afford or didn’t have the ability to build one. But I guess with enough JC Whitney catalogs and Social Security checks they did the “next best thing.”

As far as “roasts” I’ve personally received for one of my cars, my favorite has to be the inadvertent ones directed at my SVX which is NOT a DeLorean contrary to what Polo shirted, Khaki clad, fresh white New Balance fitted, middle aged dads, tell their cell phone occupied teenage sons at car shows… Yes it was alsodesigned by Giugiaro, and it has similar little windows inside the windows, and it is silver, but still not a DeLorean (and involves infinitely less cocaine). At one point I tried to correct people but it got tiresome to be “corrected” about the origins of my own car.