Automotive

The Torchinsky Files: Buick’s Website-On-A-Disk Before There Were Websites

Since most of us are trapped in our homes as viruses bang on our doors with their creepy little protein arms, I figured you could use a nice deep-dive Torchinsky Files episode, full of really intensely geeky crap. I think I’ve provided that for you, with this tour of something pretty amazing: essentially, a website before there was a web at all. A website on a 143K floppy disk, running on a computer literally hundreds of thousands times slower than whatever you’re reading this on. It’s Buick’s 1986 Buick Dimensions time.

I actually wrote about this way back in 2012, but something screwed up with the pictures in that story over the years, so I figured it made sense to take another stab at it. Oh, I think in the video I keep saying it’s from 1987, but it looks like it’s actually 1986!

Since 2012 and a move I seem to have misplaced the original disk—at first I thought I was doomed, until I found some disk images of it online and was able to get them to load into my real, got-for-my-Bar-Mitzvah Apple //e thanks to the help of DataJerk, the very clever person behind the Apple II Disk Server, a website that lets you plug your phone into the cassette input jack of your old Apple II and load up pretty much any software.

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It’s great for old games and stuff, but DataJerk was kind enough to upload the Buick Dimensionsdisk images to the server for me, so I could make myself a new copy and any of you out there with old Apple IIs banging around can try it as well!

As I make clear in the video, I think Buick had an idea way ahead of its time—this is effectively a Buick website on a disk, rendered in six colors and a screen with 280×192 (well, really 140×192) resolution, which, I’d like to show you, compares to a modern iPhone like this:


Illustration for article titled The Torchinsky Files: Buicks Website-On-A-Disk Before There Were Websites

And, of course that Apple II ran at 1Mhz, and it looks like this one actually required a full 128K of memory, which I misspoke about in the video, so, sorry about that.

I dig through as much of that disk as I can in the video, and even though we ended up cutting the parts where I talk about how to cut a notch in an old floppy disk so you could use the back side and the comparison of a Riviera to a BMW, I think there’s plenty here for you.

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Oh, and also, in this episode you can see a different bit of my basement that includes an autograph from Baja 1000 Ironman winner Mark Stahl, a big, illuminated netsuke, and a painting of noted robot Johnny 5.

Plus, if you have an Apple II handy, you can try it yourself! What’s a better way to “socially isolate” yourself than to prepare to buy a Buick in 1986?

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Nothing, that’s what.

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