Automotive

The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Zimmer


Image for article titled The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Fuckin’ Zimmer

Image: WeBe Autos

In this hellscape of a used car market, you could expend your budget of 18-and-a-half-thousand dollars on a well-worn Elantra. Or you could spend your money for real and get something truly in a class of its own: a Zimmer Quicksilver. Specifically, the first Quicksilver registered in these 50 states. I think you know what to do.

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Indeed, this example of Paul Zimmer’s Fiero-based, neo-classic “personal luxury car” is up for sale in West Babylon, New York via WeBe Autos. Under all that extra bodywork and chrome, this really is a mid-engine Pontiac, with the same 2.6-liter, 140-horsepower V6 and the same three-speed auto. It just happens to look like a Mark IV Continental crossed with an original Toronado.


Love how the chrome bumpers swing upward at either end. Joined by the side trim, they create some unbroken, oblong staple across the profile.

Love how the chrome bumpers swing upward at either end. Joined by the side trim, they create some unbroken, oblong staple across the profile.
Image: WeBe Autos

When new, a Quicksilver cost $48,000 in 1984 — that’s about $129,000 in today’s money — which means the current going price is practically a steal. For that, you got another half of a car grafted to the front of what started as a Fiero, most of which was shockingly, sensibly dedicated to additional trunk space.

The Quicksilver was a whopping 29 inches longer than the Fiero and more than 400 pounds heavier, even though its powertrain — and regrettably, the original eight-gallon fuel tank — remained untouched by the coachbuilder.


Image for article titled The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Fuckin’ Zimmer

Image: WeBe Autos

Rather than performance, all of Zimmer’s efforts went to making the Quicksilver a supremely cushy grand tourer fit only for the most flamboyant marketing executives with the most irritated of nasal cavities. Every swath of lining in the cabin was replaced with leather or wood — save for the floor mats, which were swapped out for high-pile carpet.

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Image for article titled The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Fuckin’ Zimmer

Image: WeBe Autos

As for the exterior, all body panels were replaced with fiberglass while the nose and rear end were subjected to dramatic redesigns — and even that’s putting it mildly. Personally I’ve never held much fondness for the Malaise Era, not even in an ironic sense. But looking at the Quicksilver, I now realize that’s because the likes of Cadillac and Lincoln never took the garishness far enough.

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Image for article titled The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Fuckin’ Zimmer

Image: WeBe Autos

The slanted nose and pop-up headlights of the front combined with the lavish, jewel-like treatment of the taillights out back run totally contrary to the brick-bodied, right-angled big old luxury coupes of yore. None of it should work. It’s like something out of GTA Vice City, mashing together several cars into one as a blatant satire of 1980s excess. And yet, I’m into it.

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Image for article titled The Used Car Market Sucks, But You Can Still Get A Deal On A Fuckin’ Zimmer

Image: WeBe Autos

There are but 25,308 miles on this Quicksilver, and you can take a guided tour with a video published by WeBe Autos back in May of 2020. We’ve confirmed with the dealer that the car really is still for sale — so none of you reading this have any excuse.

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