111 Weirdos Have Bought A Dodge Journey So Far This Year

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I don’t know if you can tell, but I’ve been knee-deep in American car sales reports today. They’re just full of so many fun little nuggets. However, while poring over the data, I made a truly haunting discovery about the Dodge Journey.


So far this year, 111 souls woke up, got out of bed, drove to their local car dealership and bought a Dodge Journey. We don’t know who these people are. We don’t know their hopes, their dreams, or their realities. We don’t know what compels them to make their choice. All we know about them is that they bought a Dodge Journey in the year of our lord 2022.

As I sit at my desk, I can’t help but wonder if they know what they’ve done. How could they? They bought a Dodge Journey; 111 beautiful individuals woke up and chose violence. I need to know why. Was it a smarmy dealer pulling a fast one on some unsuspecting people? Was it one of the few cars you could get below sticker? We can’t know. I can’t know. And I hate that. I feel so conflicted about these people —these 111 living, breathing people —who spent their hard earned money on a Dodge Journey.

I waver between contempt and sorrow. Do they know what they’ve done? Part of me hopes not. It is probably better to not know the pain you’ve caused others. Speaking of pain: How dare dealers do this. If anyone know what sort of pain and misery awaits a Dodge Journey owner, it’s the person who is selling it. It’s a car they know is terrible, a car they know is out of production for very good reason. What kind of person would do that to someone else? How do they sleep at night?

These are questions that I cannot possibly answer, but these people will not have to answer to me. One day, maybe soon, maybe not, they will have to answer to a much higher power. They’ll have no defense. They know what they did.

So, to the 111 newly-minted Dodge Journey owners, I pray for you. I pray you will not have to deal with this sort of betrayal by your fellow man ever again. You are too kind and trusting for this world. Godspeed.

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