A Sad, Lonely Wheel Copes With Feelings Of Abandonment At Sebring

One solitary, forlorn wheel was left on its own on a big, scary racetrack during the 12 Hours of Sebring. The heartless jamokes at Alex Job Racing didn’t secure the wheel properly onto the No. 22 Porsche. Left to its own devices, the wheel lashed out against the sick, sad world which had rejected it, interrupting the racing action.

The forsaken wheel took its revenge out on the racing event as a whole, forcing the eleventh full-course caution of the day. If the wheel couldn’t have any fun, nobody else could. The wheel was forced to roll away from the bustling paddock by the one car it thought it trusted trusted to keep it together.


The WeatherTech Sports Car Championship’s commentary team couldn’t figure out which team had spurned this poor wheel under cover of darkness until a three-wheeled No. 22 Porsche 911 rolled into the pits. After all, what kind of monster would abandon a poor, defenseless wheel?


Alex Job Racing quickly performed an emergency service stop on the No. 22 car, replacing the wheel it had suddenly cast off into the vast expanse of Sebring’s run-off area with another one. The lonely wheel was recovered, but it never should have been abandoned in the first place.

To atone for their sins, the No. 22 must come back into the pits later. Actually, that will be to make up for their emergency stop. No one cares about the wheels, sadly. When we leave them sad and alone, can you blame them for lashing out at the events which bring us joy?

Please, won’t you think of the wheels? (Also, do try to keep them on your cars.)


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