Bart Scott brow beat? Can’t wait!

Kinda like this...

Kinda like this…
Illustration: Getty Images

Here’s a headline: ESPN’s Bart Scott says if 49ers lose to Eagles, he’ll shave his eyebrows.


According to the story by Gabe Fernandez of SFGATE, ESPN’s Bart Scott says that if the 49ers lose to the Eagles Sunday, he’ll lay blade to his supercilia.

But… the piece includes an embedded tweet, which quotes Bart Scott, on ESPN, saying that if the 49ers lose to the Eagles, he’ll shave his eyebrow — singular.

The embedded tweet includes a video of ESPN’s Bart Scott saying that if the 49ers lose to the Eagles, he’ll shave his eyebrow — once again, singular.

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So, if the 49ers lose to the Eagles, ESPN’s Bart Scott will shave his eyebrows. Or possibly one eyebrow. It actually got kind of unclear at the end there.

This is a very stupid bet. If the 49ers win — they’re 4.5-point favorites — Scott gets nothing. If the 49ers lose, and the money line for an Eagles win is a scant +150, Scott shaves his eyebrow(s) and walks around everywhere looking like an idiot.


What’s more, the entire existence of the Philadelphia Eagles is based on spite. Why would you ever disparage them publicly while making it extremely clear that they have the opportunity to make an ass out of you by winning a game?

There’s another embeddable tweet that seems to apply here.


Go Birds.

Et tu, Didi

The Phillies trailed the Cubs, 7-0, last night yet managed to win, 17-8. Yet, somehow, they still were losers, because shortstop Didi Gregorius decided to become the latest public figure to make an embarrassing statement about the COVID-19 vaccine.


Having suffered through elbow problems this season, Gregorius told The Philadelphia Inquirer, “Some people say it’s from the vaccine. I will say it’s likely from that, too. But when you say that, everyone looks at you like you’re stupid, because the vaccine is not supposed to be like that or give you that reaction.”

Props to Inquirer writer Matt Breen for following that quote immediately with Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia vaccine expert Paul Offit saying that no vaccine at all would cause the pseudogout that has plagued Gregorius, and quite flatly, “It has nothing to do with the vaccine.”


Gregorius did not comment on any of his cousins, their friends, the status of their testicles, or their upcoming wedding plans. He did, however, get looked at like he’s stupid, which he should, because he’s been talking about the shot causing his elbow woes for at least two months, which means he’s had a chance to learn how stupid this is, and even after having worked with Johns Hopkins last year to promote joining clinical trials, somehow doesn’t believe in science.

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