Sports

Frisky NFL teams that could get friskier with the right QB


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Watching the Rams walk a tightrope without a net this season was exhilarating. They traded two first round picks for Matthew Stafford, and people who hated the deal were a Tom Brady comeback away from laughing at Stan Kroenke and Los Angeles for being so frivolous with their assets. (I would’ve been one of those people.)

However, like the year prior, when Brady led the Bucs to a Super Bowl, the gambit paid off. Brady retired and now the bill has come due for Tampa Bay. Who knows when the open tab is going to be settled for the Rams, but there will be a lengthy check to pick up.

I’m sure the teams and their fans will say, “It was worth it” even after their credit card statement shows up the same way you tell yourself that all-inclusive trip to Cabo was worth it because you got laid. Your friends will obviously be jealous when you regale them with your tale of triumph, but that doesn’t mean they should max out a near-maxed out Discover card trying to chase your glory.

You got lucky, literally, and you failed to mention that shot of penicillin needed to fully forget the fling. However, there’s always that one(-upper) friend who thinks they can outdo you, and that brings me to the crux of today’s idea: Which NFL team is idiotic (or capable) enough to think they can replicate what the Rams and Bucs just did?

There are a lot of teams who think they’re one Stafford away from a title, but I think I could make an open corner 3 in an NBA game, so we’re all lacking a lot of self-awareness. I’m looking for realistic suitors, not outlandish Ben Simmons to the Spurs-esque rumors.

The Packers, Panthers, and Saints would be on this list if not for extenuating circumstances. If Aaron Rodgers leaves Green Bay, you have to assume Davante Adams is following him, which wouldn’t be ideal for an incoming QB. Matt Rhule is a suspect coach at best, and I can’t say with certainty that Christian McCaffrey will be healthy enough to offset that. Sean Payton retired, and you can’t assume the Saints will have the same creativity, consistency, and success under new coach Dennis Allen. (Also, to those of you asking about the Washington Commanders: LOL.)

My hypothesis for who fills the role of Stafford isn’t formulated yet (Rodgers and Russell Wilson are the early favorites), so you’ll have to come back for that — assuming I write it. OK, onto Cleveland (literally).

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