Sports

P.K. Subban is officially a Jackass


Taking a 98 mph slapper in the cup region is gonna be a no from me.

Taking a 98 mph slapper in the cup region is gonna be a no from me.
Image: Getty Images

New Jersey Devils defenseman P.K. Subban has always been a pretty divisive player. Some fans think the former Norris Trophy winner is one of the dirtiest players in the NHL. Yet several retired players and referees have come to Subban’s defense claiming that the slew foot technique he’s become known for is just a bad habit that has crept into his game. However you believe about Subban as a player, yesterday he confirmed that he was officially a Jackass.

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If you’re heading to the movie theater this afternoon looking for some shenanigans from the Jackass crew in their latest film, you’re going to see Subban testing out the protectiveness of jockstraps at some point.

If you’ve ever played goaltender before, you know just how devastating a shot to the nads is. Even with a protective cup, the photo in the tweet above was taken moments before disaster. There’s zero chance that whoever decided to get in net for this “stunt” was vomiting profusely afterward. I don’t have to see the movie to know that’s how this plays out. At least there’s ice readily available for this brave soul to use while he lies on the ground writhing in pain.

I mean how nuts (pun intended) do you have to be to do this? I guess that’s what has made Jackass the phenomenon it is after all. It takes only 50 kilograms of force, or 490.3 Joules to rupture a testicle. P.K. Subban once clocked a slapshot at 98.7 miles per hour at the 2018 All-Star Game skills competition. Now, I’m no physicist, but even if Subban was holding back on this shot for fear of the consequences doing something like this might have on his conscience, you’d have to have a ton of confidence in your jockstrap or else you can say goodbye to your stones.

To all the people saying that Subban shouldn’t be doing something like this, rather working on his puck handling and other facets of his game, get over it. This took at most a few hours of filming. Subban, just like all of us, deserves a day off every now and again. He obviously was thrilled to be a part of Jackass. The man is now 32-years-old and entering the final years of his career. Let him live a little.

Subban has gone through hell during his career, facing numerous racist incidents targeting him and even his family. In Montreal, Subban would routinely face racist comments from opposing team’s fans. When he was traded, there were rumors that Subban’s exuberance as a black man played a large role in the Canadiens’ decision to move Subban elsewhere. He’s been through the racist ringer in the NHL and deserves an opportunity to be a part of something he enjoys.

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As for whoever was on the end of this slapshot, just be glad Islanders’ defenseman Zdeno Chára wasn’t taking the shot. He once clocked a shot at 108.8 miles per hour in 2012, breaking his own record of 105.9 set the year prior. He has ungodly speed behind his shot, and if he were taking aim at you, no cup would be able to protect you.

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