The Only Good Vines Were These Unhinged Screeds About Cars

Vine’s six seconds of fame are up. Only one man truly made the most of those six seconds. His name was ConnerO_Malley, and we can only hope his Vines find a new place to live for eternity.

The videos are all pretty much just a disembodied voice screaming nonsensical rants about angel blood, all directed at rich people in fancy cars. And that voice is the voice of the people.

Wake up, you sheep of society. Beautiful cars are only here to keep the oppressed pining for a better life they’ll never have. It takes 1,000 years of blood to keep yourself tan and clean in a Ferrari on Rodeo Drive.

At least that’s the central theme to most of O’ Malley’s Vines. My favorites are this sad car fight and police horses O’Malley calls “the dogs of justice.”

Where’s important social commentary like this supposed to go with Vine gone?

1,000 Years Of Blood

Buick Is All Over Vine Now, Because Millennials

This Emoji-Based Ad For The Chevy Cruze Confirms That Chevy Thinks You’re A Moron

What’s The Best Automotive Vine?