These Are The Greatest Pickups Ever Made


This is the greatest and best truck in the world.


Long time ago me and my writer Streeter here:

We was Jalopnikin’ down a long and lonesome post.

All of a sudden, there shined a shiny question in the middle of the post.

And it said,

“Say the best truck in the world; not a Kia Soul.”

Well, me and Streeter: we looked at each other, and we each said, “Okay.”

And we stated the first thing that came to our heads,

Just so happened to be

The best truck in the world,

It was the best truck in the world.

Look into my posts and it’s easy to see

Two seats in the front, a bed to stand and pee,

It was destiny.

Once every hundred-thousand miles or so,

Still the truck doth run and the engine light glow,

And repairs just grow.

Needless to say, commenters stunned.

A star-count still a total zero,

And the post was done.

Nobody asked us, “Be you angels?”

And we said, “Nay. We are Jalops.”


If you’ve gotten this far, and you’re not laughing or eye rolling, go google this and then come back. This is where the solo goes, so just imagine sounds of an out-of tune engine with a screeching auxiliary belt.

This is not the greatest truck in the world, no.

This is just a Tribute.

Couldn’t remember the greatest truck in the world, no.

This is a tribute, oh, to the greatest truck in the world, alright!

It was the greatest truck in the world, alright!

It was the best motherfucking truck, the greatest truck in the world. Alright!

And the peculiar thing is this, my friends:

The truck posted about that ridiculous afternoon: it didn’t actually look anything like this crossover.

This is just a Tribute!

You gotta believe it!

And I wish you were there!

Just a matter of opinion.

Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin’,

So surprised to find you can’t stop it.

A fiery ring of fire,

Rich motherfucker

Alright! Alright!

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