Tom Brady launching new clothing line that has all the personality of Tom Brady

This certainly is a look.

This certainly is a look.
Screenshot: Tom Brady

Tom Brady is veering into a delusional confidence lane shared with Brain from Pinky and The Brain. For years we thought Brady was merely Belichick’s best student-of-the-art-of-football robot, then he wrote the TB12 Method. In that book he comes off as one who believes he’s the savior the sports world has been waiting for, and that he has the answers for eternal peak body performance. Through the world’s least fun diet and “pliability,” Brady believes that he can avoid injury and the fate of the quarterbacks that came before him, those having to retire because their bodies failed them.


A man selling that health and lifestyle message to people would, of course, believe he can take over any industry he chooses. His latest? The world of sports fashion.

Brady announced this morning that his Brady brand will launch on Jan. 12. He has a team of college and recently drafted athletes that will be endorsing what at this point appears to be a clothing line of all-black sweatpants, hoodies, and quarter-zips. Nothing screams youth like an all-black quarter-zip zipped all the way to the neck.

Of course one of the athletes signed on with the Brady brand is Michigan quarterback Cade McNamara. Perhaps no one is more fortunate to be in the NIL era than McNamara. He is Michigan’s starting quarterback in the year of the school’s first college football playoff appearance and it’s the same year Brady starts a clothing line. McNamara likely won’t be the same surprise NFL success as Brady, who completed 200 total passes in his junior season in 12 games — 1998 — while McNamara has completed 199 in 13 games — 2021. While he has the option to try to go pro whenever Michigan’s run ends, he will likely return for his senior year with endorsement money in his pocket.

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It’s good for McNamara and other college athletes on the brand like Jackson State quarterback Sheduer Sanders to get some money in their pocket. However, in a Wall Street Journal photo essay the CEO and co-founder of Brady, Jens Grede, who helped Kim Kardashian build her SKIMS clothing line, said his vision for the Brady brand is for it to be one of the most influential sportswear brands in the world, àThis la Jordan brand.

Brady doing what he does every night, trying to take over the world.

One reason that will never happen is Brady already has a clothing brand associated with him. His TB12 health store also sells merchandise that he has worn for many years. There are probably Brady fans who don’t read Seth Wickersham’s work about him who believe that TB12 is his apparel line, and had no idea sessions were available for purchase with TB12 body coaches. Is there going to be a big unveiling at Paris fashion week with Gisele on the runway rocking Brady brand?


Not only does Brady have his old sportswear line competing with his new one, and not only did his old one beat the new one to market, but the old one actually has a logo. How does Brady expect this new line to work with no logo. Converse, Adidas, Jordan, LeBron James, Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant, even Big Baller Brand, their clothes and shoes have unique logos. If Brady’s clothes do have a logo on them at some point then it will likely just be his name on the front dripping with narcissism.

There are plenty of places in this world to buy an all-black quarter-zip, or wear an all-black sweatsuit. Nothing in these pictures show something that makes this brand unique other than Brady’s face through the neckline of a shirt that somehow looks younger now than it did in 2000.


These photos look like an old Diddy video. All that’s missing is Brady clinking two glasses together while yelling, “Bad Boy, come out to plaay-aay,” or one of his kids in the background doing the Harlem Shake.

Full disclosure, it’s not like I would ever buy anything Tom Brady sells. I appreciate him showing some personality later in his career, and all respect to him for playing professional football at 44 years of age. I hurt my knee walking to get breakfast when I turned 30, and three years later it still bothers me from time to time. As much as I respect his career, I’m not putting on a TB12 logo, a hoodie with Brady across the front, or an all-black sweatsuit that is non-distinguishable from any other all-black sweatsuit that I can purchase cheaper elsewhere.


Good luck to you and your attempt to take over the world, Tom. Maybe you’ll outlive us all by the end and can scream out I told you so to a barren planet.

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